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Every mom has a secret that works for her. Let other mom's know. They may be struggling without your help! I sure did!
Here are some comments You have shared!
On Feb. 20, 2012, Stephanie wrote:
I am a grandmother of a 3 and 4 year old. I have had my grandchildren for a year now due to them being placed in foster care. In the year that I have had them, we have been in 3 daycares due to major behavior problems. (biting, hitting, cursing, etc) I feel like I have tried everything. Thank you for providing these pictures. I just found you and I am hoping that they work.
My heart goes out to you.
Such a big job you have.
My best advice, when there is so much conflict and tension expressed by them, is this:
1-Try to slow the pace of everything down, and to keep a calm atmosphere when they are at home.
2- Don't let them have sugary drinks or sweets during the week since they cause hyperactivity.
3- Make sure they DO get LOTS of exercise during the day to tire them out and allow them to have a good sleep at night.
4- Give them plenty of water during the day (dehydration causes stress, too).
5- Keep the TV OFF - it causes frustration.
6- Play happy and relaxing music with positive messages to think about instead. Classical music calms the nerves too.
7- Read books to them. It will make them better readers later on as they associate reading with the snuggly feeling of being near you and listening to you read to them.
8- Above all, your influence is the very best thing for them. Your loving nature and sweet disposition will be easier 'caught' than 'taught'.
I hope that the charts help a lot, too. Did you download the customizable ones here?
They are great because there's no need for yelling or fussing, just calmly stating the facts, "Oh - I see your shoes on the floor. Quick put them away so you can get your good mark! I don't want you to miss your treat on Saturday!"
That way you can be on their side, and a cheer leader for their success.
Many thanks for doing the hard stuff!
I will pray for you guys, too.
After my newsletter on How to Stop BULLYING in schools,
On Aug 20, 2011, John wrote:
They should have posters like this in every school. There is a bullying problem at my daughters school. Bullying needs to be disgust and talked about in schools.
If enough kids would know what to do in some situations, I would think the problem could be greatly diminished. Cause I think most of the kids are not bullys.
Get my free posters on How to Stop BULLYING in schools here!
On Aug 11, 2011, Jeanette wrote:
I am really eager to use the chart for my 2 1/2 yr old. When my son is not able to do something for his own self he gets mad and throws the item (toy) Is there a a visual that can teach him not to throw his toys when fraustrated and instead ask for help in a nice voice instead of screaming.
So glad you contacted me, Jeanette.
Yes, there IS a visual to help him use words instead of screaming!
It's right here:
If you can think of a better way to express it in a picture, let me know!
2 Yr olds get frustrated when they can't express their feelings, and that can certainly put us in a panic at times!
I recently found out that the brain of a 2 year old is developing faster than at any other time in his life. Here's my full article about it it:
Since they can't always say what's bothering them, or even have the mental agility yet to be able to figure it out themselves, your job is to evaluate the situation objectively to find out the source of their problem.
Is it Emotional? Is it Physical?
Anger is a secondary emotion. That means that it doesn't appear first. There's always a hurt that happens first, and THEN the anger. People who don't want to cry many times feel anger to 'pass over' the pain they feel.
If you are a working parent and don't see every little thing that goes on with them during the day, it can be hard to figure out. They may feel hurt and rejected from being at the babysitters all day. It could be an emotional hurt from an experience they just had. Or exposure to something they saw on TV. Young kids are much more sensitive to things than we are.
Sometimes we might not realize it can be a physical issue that can trigger outbursts.
1- Are they tired? Physical stress can cause a person to lose control.
2- Are they thirsty? Dehydration causes the body to react in stress.
3- Are they hungry? Low blood sugar can cause stress and anxiety.
Sometime, knowing that my kids were hungry or tired or both, I would let them know I could see they were upset, and that they were going to have to calm down so we could take care of the problem. I would ask them in a calm voice something like this: "Would you rather settle down now? OR do you need a little time to quiet down in your room?" Either way, they get a double message where the only choice given them is to settle down. There are lots of great tips on speaking with Toddlers from Chris Thompson, the guru of TODDLER-Whisperers everywhere! His site is here:
I was so impressed with his free audio lesson that even though my kids are all grown up, I bought the whole course!
You've got to check him out. Let me know what you think of him. Now we are Facebook friends!
I really want to help in any way I can, Jeanette. Please let me know if there's anything else you can think of to shed light on the problem.
PS - Did you ask for the Free laminated behavior card on this page yet?
Just send me your address if you want it.
www.gomommygo.comHelping parents and caregivers guide character development...
May 20,2011 John wrote (Regarding: http://www.gomommygo.com/positive_behaviors.html#goodwords):
I like the one that says If you can't say something nice about someone don't say anything at all. I also find myself constantly repeating that to my kids,
and adding, it is so much nicer to say something that makes the other person feel good. And it will make you feel good also. And if we all are making others feel good then the whole world will feel good. And that will bring into being the most awesome and amazing happenings.
Thanks again Ruth,
WOW! May I quote you?
IT's comments like that, from great dads, like you, that people need to hear. I'll give you credit for saying it, too, of course!
Thank YOU, John!
On March 29, 2011 Susan H. wrote:
I was searching on the internet and found your GoMommyGo. This is just what I was looking for. I am raising my 2 grand sons now 5 and 6 years old. The 5 year old has a lot of behavior problems. I thank God I found GoMommyGo. Thank you
I thank you for your kind words, Susan. I appreciate that so much!
I mailed your behavior card off today - so it should get there in a few days.
Let me know if you think of any other challenges I should illustrate or address on the site - your ideas and questions will probably help others.
And thanks so much for being there for the kids!
On March 27, 2011 Jezebel wrote:
I found GoMommyGo when I was searching for printable behavior charts. I have 2 special needs nieces that I take care of. The behavior charts work great for them and having the pictures to look at on the chart help them to understand what it is that is expected of them. Thanks for the wonderful site. :0)
On January 6, 2011, Kirsten wrote:
I love your behavior images. I am going to use them for a behavior chart for my 3 year old son. I would love to see an image that reinforces the use of good table manners and behaving well during meals.
Thanks so much.
Well I finally got it up here!
plus a copy of the place setting arrangement:
You can use these images to strengthen your son's participation by letting him help set the table. If you make it a memory game it will be fun! The more HE participates, the more he will REMEMBER!
On Dec 8, 2010, Sally wrote:
My friend has a son that refuses to take his ADHD medicine every morning and it's become such an issue that they're having to force him to take it. It's not that it tastes bad or anything, it's flavored, but he is just playing that game that kids will play. It's affecting her mornings and causing her to be in a bad mood by the time she gets to work. A picture of a child taking their medicine (or vitamins) would be great for her!!!
I got the medicine/vitamin pictures up - Just in case I made a few variations to choose from. You can find them here on these pages:
plus added them to the customizable downloadable chart here:
for the print/cut and paste variety here:
and as larger resolution files here:
What a nice friend YOU are to ask for this for your friend.
It will help lots more too - who needed it but just didn't ask.
I'd love to know how it works out!
On Nov 15, 2010, at 5:47 PM, Mikayla wrote:
"play with your brother"
Thanks so much for your suggestion!
I am thinking that perhaps several of the images I have now could be used for more than one thing already.
For instance, the image for 'share' could also be one you could use to mean "play with your brother", if it didn't have those words on it.
Here's what I mean - take a look:
IF I make a section with the same pictures without words on them, folks might think of other uses.
I'd love to know what you think!
Let me know!
In the mean time, use the one I just 'adjusted' for you!
On Sunday, October 31, 2010 Candise wrote:
I love your website and I have made a behaviour chart for my son who is 3 1/2 and he loves it.
One's that I would love to see added someday would be
no put downs
I have been trying to teach my son the concepts behind rudeness, politeness and consideration. Any thoughts how to break that down into simple enough concept for a 3 year old?
Thanks so much for your email and great suggestions!
I agree we need more images for politeness and consideration.
I will certainly work of it and let you know what I come up with!
(LATER) Dear Candise - Here's what I came up with - let me know if they work for your little one!
On Wednesday, October 20, 2010 Maria wrote:
First of all, "YOU ARE AWESOME! Thank you for sharing all this educational material. I really do appreciate you. I do have a question and hopefully you can help me. I love the pictures on the "I CAN" book. I was wondering if there is any way i can get those exact pictures of the baby? If so i will greatly appreciate it. Thank you for your time and patience. God Bless You!
Thanks for your interest in GoMommyGo and 'The Babies'! Glad you are enjoying the site.
Here are the pictures just as they appear on the little 'I CAN' animation.Let me know if that will work....
Looking forward to hearing more about your fun project !
PS - Larger Resolution Files of the Positive Behaviors Images are available at this page (for non profit use, of course!) - Enjoy!
On September 24, 2010 michelle wrote:
Hi, I love the idea of a laminated to go chart. This is such an awesome site. I am a social worker and a co-worker sent me to your site, but I'm using the charts with my 3 year old, the best is "pet the kitty" everyday she says "look mom" as she is petting our cat... a month ago she loved pushing the cat with her foot or hitting. Here is my address if you could sent the laminated chart, if not, thanks anyway for this wonderful site.[address witheld for privacy]
Helping parents and caregivers guide character development...
more about Ruth
On October 25, 2010 michelle wrote again:
Hi Ruth, we did get the materials. Thank you so much ...The travel cards are awesome! It's the simple things that can make the most difference :) Thank you again!
on Friday, October 1, 2010 ~Stephanie~ wrote:
I LOVE your website! I know it will be very useful in my home daycare! I would like to know if you have anything for "Cover your mouth when you sneeze/cough" or "No tattle Telling"?
Thank you and God bless!
Thanks so much for getting in touch. Sorry for the delay in answering. I will be happy to add the images as soon as my family life allows! Here I am 'retired', and find myself just as busy as ever! But your request is truly the FUN stuff I do when I get a moment to myself, so THANKS for asking! Now I have a reason to 'force' myself to have a little break! I am so happy to hear you have a daycare. I was thinking to myself the other day how wonderful it would be to find a daycare that could use my charts in their daily routines with the kids, and then send home some for the parents to follow up on at home. Then as the kids get used to the activities expected of them they can have better continuity. It's also helpful in that it coincidentally 'trains' the parents in what to do, something that took me so many years to learn (the hard way)!
Helping parents and caregivers guide character development...
more about Ruth
Then on October 5, 2010, ~Stephanie~ wrote again:
Ruth, you are so awesome! I'm so glad I stumbled upon your site. I'm very thankful there are people out there like you who are willing to help out the "less creative" such as myself. =) I currently take care of a 5 month old, 2, 3, and 4 year old. You hit it on the nose exactly about needing to "train" the parents in what to do. It gets frustrating sometimes because we spend so much time trying to teach other peoples children to do simple things such as "wash your hands after going potty" or "cover you mouth when you sneeze/cough", but when it's not reinforced at home, it makes it tougher. However, I saw your site and I thought "what a wonderful way to give the children (and the parents) a visual of what's expected" and would be such a tremendous help!